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I do this in a positive way, but my point is to make sure the girl knows she should trust her instincts and believe in herself.When we discuss intimacy, I spend so much time and go through rabbinic sources focusing on pleasure – specifically sexual pleasure – not just ideas for what to wear or how to set the mood but I describe possible actions/behavior for both husband and wife to excite and enhance the whole experience. I tell her that I will be in touch a few days after the wedding, 1 month after the wedding, 6 months after, a year, and after a baby.This means that a husband must not treat his wife in the manner of [those] who perform their marital duties in their clothes. He may have intercourse with her whenever he so desires and kiss any organ of her body he wishes, and he may have intercourse with her naturally or unnaturally [in any manner], provided that he does not expend semen to no purpose.Rabbis Learned or Teach about Sexuality 1) Those classes explicitly taught that I (as a woman) should expect sex according to the frequency I choose, that sex was holy and good, that it invited G-d and blessing into our marriage, and that if its frequency drops below night plus both Shabboses during the “on time,” we should talk about it because that could be a sign something is wrong in our marriage, such as grudge-holding, stress-level, or even health problems.She showed a diagram of the female anatomy and pointed out and named every part.She said, “The man’s sexual organ serves as a reproductive organ and it provides him with pleasure.” She noted, though, how a certain part of a woman exist for no purpose other than to provide her pleasure.

Also, I spoke with a big chosen (groom) teacher in (the ultra-Orthodox) Lakewood about one of the couples we were both teaching.I am specific about the areas of both bodies, use diagrams/pictures from a medical book when necessary. I say that these are my set times to see how everything is going.Outside of this they are encouraged to call/text/etc with any questions, even if they are “dumb” questions.What Hashem wants is for the woman to follow the law and have a good, mutually satisfying sexual relationship with her husband.The “last” class I speak about biology, including his and hers, usually with diagrams and horror stories, details/tips for the first time and first few times, that he may like things that seem strange but if she is comfortable to go with it, etc.. The overall feeling by the last class is that she and i have a relationship, and that i am there for her at any and all times.




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