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As his relationship patterns are the opposite of mine, a part of me fears that if we were to really date, one of us might wind up getting hurt. We also have a tight group of friends, and I think we are both afraid to compromise that. In my work and other aspects of life, I am uncomfortable with comfortable. We both teach Wednesday nights, so we went out to dinner after class to the Fat Raddish. When we set the date for this project, I didn’t realize it was actually the first day of spring. Anyway, dinner tonight was pretty normal, not unlike other times we’ve hung out and had dinner. We talked about our families more than we ever did before. It was refreshing to hear this since I didn’t grow up with any money, either. Earlier in the day I sent a little note to Jessie by messenger. I’m not worried about the unknown, but about us falling into our usual roles, and how we deal with that.But when it comes to relationships, I do seek secure relationships that are clearly defined. Jessie brought me a little care package of stuff to jokingly get me through the next 40 days. I wanted to honor our project together with something lighthearted. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? The play is about a bunch of college students going to parties, getting drunk, having sex, and their complicated interpersonal relationships.To repair the relationship, "they need to get curious about each other's visions for the future and each other's dreams." Changing over the years is one thing, but serious marriage problems also can arise from bad habits."A lot of couples' problems have been haunting them the duration of their marriage, but they may not have had the time or energy to deal with them," says Rachel Sussman, LCSW, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert, and founder of Sussman Counseling in New York City.Sometimes I think the “normal” people are just people you don’t know well enough yet. We talked about relationships with parents, and how many girls have some “daddy issues.” I don’t have dad issues. My parents married at a young age, and have a successful marriage. However, neither Jessie or I would have talked about this stuff so soon without having the therapist as a soundboard. I spent five years seeing a therapist, so this isn’t strange to me.I wonder if that is part of the reason I am always trying to find the right person and why I feel like such failure when a relationship doesn’t work out. Jessie is currently in therapy, so it’s all good with her too.Now they want a different kind of partnership." The challenge becomes, how do you listen to your partner's complaints without interruption or getting defensive—even when you disagree?Communication issues then become interlaced with other issues, which is often what brings long-married couples into counseling.

He’s built up this reputation for himself as a “player,” but I see past the façade.

He’s been a great friend, and I know he’s a very kind person.

We all have our issues and cope with life differently.

This scenario is archetypical of "gray divorce," a concept made popular by researchers for a study at Bowling Green State University, which found that, since 1990, divorce rates have doubled for Americans over 50 and more than tripled for Americans over 65.

In 2010, people ages 50 and older accounted for about 1 in 4 divorces. Brown, one of the lead researchers for the study, told the Washington Post that the reason for these divorces wasn't "severe discord," but rather "the couples had simply grown apart." In 2015, the National Center for Health Statistics and the U. Census Bureau reported that for every 1,000 married couples older than 50, 10 get a divorce. But distance doesn't have to result in divorce.

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