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” He laughed and said, “I assume you are talking about yourself? ” The mom said, “No, he’s single.” The daughter said matter-of-factly, “That’s odd!

” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Let me ask you, do you have the gift of celibacy? ” He went on to say that the marital status of the pastor doesn’t matter because it’s God Word that matters, not whether the person who is saying it is married or not. It was when I became a senior pastor that I sort of became a pastoral freak. ” I have written a defense of singleness and ministry that is available online here, so I won’t go over it again other than to say, from my experience, there are massive advantages to being single in pastoral ministry.

Some would perhaps grant that in small churches or ministries, a single pastor can work or at least be a necessary liability.

I recall meeting the executive pastor of a nationally known church who didn’t know much about Bethel Church. As an adult single in the Christian dating scene, it is frightening to see how little concern there generally is about sexual purity.

Marriage is a charisma and singleness is a charisma. I’ve never seen a party thrown for someone choosing to remain single, but we’ve all been to parties for people choosing to get married. He designed it and instituted it in Genesis : ” (Genesis ), so God created Eve from Adam suiting her to him. This is what Paul highlights as he argues for singleness as a valid marital status. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided…I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided.” (1 Corinthians -33, 35 NIV) This is a realistic life assessment from the apostle.

Of all the things I am looking forward to in marriage, even more than sexual union, I am looking most forward to Jennifer’s life companionship. He describes marriage as a life of divided interests. The reason this is important is that nothing is more annoying than whiny and discontented single people.

I remember having the opportunity to ask Pastor John Mac Arthur about it once.Over the years of my singleness, I have grown to appreciate the unique blessings and challenges of adult Christian singleness.These challenges are often overlooked in the church and I have one last chance to write about them as an insider, before I become one of those married pastors telling singles how they should feel.Many people have had the misunderstanding that my singleness was somehow related to a monkish vow of ministry or that I was so focused on Jesus that I had no interest in women or marriage.To the contrary, I have had my marriage radar on high alert since I went to college.




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